Far, far away… with happy end.

- He’s thousands of miles away from here. You don’t know what he’s doing right now. He could be in some bar, doing shots with some sexy bartender dry humping her.
- We haven’t set the boundaries yet. Okay?
- Oh, my God.
- We’re not trying to choke each other with commitment. But now you’re fucking freaking me out and I can’t do anything but picture him humping some fucking bartender. Thank you.
- I’m your sister. This is what I’m here to do: terrify you.

- If you’re so worried about your appearance, are you gonna do something about your veiny, white skin? Because right now you look like an actor in a kabuki troupe.

- Now, look, I have done the long distance thing. And it is hard. As hell. And it doesn’t matter how good the relationship is, it literally can just rip it apart. Look, it is just very hard to be away from the person you love for months at a time.
- I know. I know it’s not gonna be easy.
- That’s all I’m sayin’.
Dan: But maybe YOU never found the right girl.
- That’s not a bad point.

- Where are you going?
- I’m 31. I’m an intern. I’m going to get wasted.

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